Recently I wrote a letter to the editor of the local paper and it ended up as a column.
CLOSING THE GATE ON OUR CHILDREN. by Ann Murray Paige
My child recently did not get accepted to what’s called the “GATE” program at the local public school.
GATE stands for “Gifted And Talented Education” and it’s a way for the public school to offer “higher learning” to kids who want it. What “higher learning” is I’m unclear, but it involves a lot of homework. Which is why my child didn’t want to do it anyway, and so I’m lucky that my little one didn’t get accepted.
I wasn’t sure about GATE any way, but not for that reason–in fact I like the sound of higher learning. But I don’t like how the program separates the GATE kids from the rest of the class. That’s a by-product of the program–the school literally keeps the kids in GATE away from their non-GATE peers. They don’t share Science, Computer or Library time. If they sit next to each other in the lunch room I’ve never seen it. They’re set apart–literally and figuratively from the other “typical” kids. And I think it’s that figuratively part that’s getting me down.
When something is separated from something else it’s noticeable. Take oil and water–you can see they don’t mix. You’d never put tigers and deer in the same pen. And I’d never wear heels with a mini-dress–not only am I 46 but I’d probably look like someone who’s looking for a good time, if you know what I mean.
Assumptions are awful things, of course, because they’re not well-founded and they never show up on an action plan at a school board meeting. But whomever decided that separating a class based on its ‘gifted’ and ‘talented-ness’ must have been denying their inner child–the one who didn’t get picked for kick ball in third grade. Because one of the worst things I think any child can be told at any age is that they are not gifted nor talented.
Yet I wish my child had tested into GATE–I wish I could say “in the public school system’s eye, this little person is gifted and talented” because the assumption now is…you follow me? I know that’s not what the program intends to do, but it’s a sad repercussion of the testing process–indeed of the program as a whole.
I don’t want to sound like sour grapes. I don’t want to say “get rid of GATE” just because my child didn’t make the cut– all my child’s peers seem to have gotten into the program–another stab at my motherly ego. And I know this isn’t supposed to be about my ego–but I’d be a liar if I said I wasn’t hurt, insulted, and a whole lot confused. I think my child is smart–so the public school system doesn’t?
And here people whose children tested into GATE will say, “no, it’s not that. Your child is wonderful. My Johhny just learns on a higher level.” That’s fine, I’m happy for Johhny. But what about Susie, who doesn’t test well but loves to learn? Can we label her and put her in, say, the “STAR” class? Because ‘She Tests Average Really’–but she’s a STAR just the same.
When my child found out of the denied acceptance into this ‘smart club’ there were no tears–in fact, there was joy. My kid made it clear that extra homework on nights and weekends was not my child’s idea of a good time. I was relieved at the reaction and my husband and I both gave each other the “phew” look because we sure weren’t prepared to properly handle a bruised 3rd grade ego—those can be hard to fix.
But it was the day or two after when I realized the real bruised ego was my own. I was and still am fighting a feeling of resentment, hostility and anger toward this program that based on one test labels 9 year-olds ‘gifted’ and ‘not-gifted.’ Whose idea was this anyway?
Don’t get me wrong–if there are children who need more in a class, if they learn on a different level, I want them to get what they need. In fact I hope they do.
I just wish is wasn’t on the back of my child and all the other kids who, for some reason that may have nothing to do with being “gifted” or “talented”, didn’t make the cut on a divisive and polarizing program like GATE.
Now I have to tell you that I wrote this for me; because I was feeling bad about my child not being accepted. I wasn’t feeling like I wanted the program ripped to shreds, or pulled off the agenda. My feelings weren’t that evolved. I was feeling what I and too many parents I’d spoken to were feeling; that this program was an “us vs. them” program that was polarizing the as-yet-formed 4th grade class of 2012-13.
And because I love this country and the First Amendment Right to Free Speech, I wrote a letter to the editor of the newspaper. And 31 comments later I now realize I have stepped into a firestorm of opinion that will not be changed or moved by my letter–only irritated and agitated by it.
What these people who read my ‘column’ and feel strongly about it can not understand is that the issue–this GATE program–is interesting to me, but not my world. Anyone who reads this blog or follows me on Facebook knows that I (sadly) have far too many pressing, poignant and heartfelt fears addressing my world on a day to day basis, so that anything else–like an education program, while important and worthy of review if not fully satisfactory to the taxpayers funding it–will never stick in my viewfinder as a day-by-day energy taker. And by the letters I’ve already read, there’s a lot of energy devoted to this issue–somewhere between ‘so much’ and ‘too much’ if you ask me.
And I don’t have the luxury of sending my energy that way. Larger, more pressing matters await me: my children not having a mother at 16; my husband marrying another woman to mother my children when I am gone; that $#%@@ 401K I put so much effort into padding may not be spent by me, but by some other person–someone I don’t even know. The home we haven’t yet bought but hope to find this year, that I may never be able to live in.
These are the issues–along with the milk that we’re out of, the hot lunch check I need to write, that GAP bill that’s overdue and those friendships of mine that need tending now that reality has hit for some of my pals that being friends with a sick woman may take more stamina than some of them have or are willing to give–that are pressing to me.
Believe me, the local educational system is important, yes. But if I’m not here in 5 years to find out how it all turns out, how much time can I let it take up in my life past today? Too much? So much?
The answer for me is: not much.
