Ann’s books ‘pink tips’ and ‘Words To Live By’ now available in the SHOP section of this website.

One friend was certain my doctor was wrong and that my hair would NOT come out from my type of chemotherapy.  I believed her and was devastated when the tub began to clog with my falling hair.  As hopeful as people try to be, let your doctor guide you when you need it most.

When I was sick people would tell me stories of others who hadn’t gotten through their illness.  (This falls under that same category as the people who told me bad pregnancy stories in my 5th month–UGH). Do your best Julia Roberts acting and smile through it because cancer makes people say stupid things.  Then yell “Cut!” in your head and walk away–preferably to your trailer with sunglasses and a fluffy dog and remind yourself that you will win this fight.

There are times when whatever it is, it isn’t what you need right then   Like when well meaning people want to come over and help when really all you want is just to be alone or be with someone else. Just say “no”.  It’s awkward at first but you need to take care of you now–and that means being honest with yourself and with those who love you.

Ask for help if you need it, ask how to help if you can give it. I had a friend who wanted to do my laundry—and I didn’t like the idea of my soiled duds laid out in front of her.  4 weeks of chemo later, I was so tired I was happy to let her do my dirty work.

Some cancers are much easier to beat than others. Figure out what you’re up against and then beat it to the ground with education, medicine and hope.  And remember what Maya Angelou says:  ”I can be changed by what happens to me, but I refuse to be reduced by it.”

If you have cancer, you can beat it.  If you are the friend, you can help.  You don’t have to perform, get it right, figure it out or know it all.  Just show up for the fight.