Posts from June, 2012

Ann’s Diary: Writing Crossroads

I haven’t been blogging much lately–for a reason.

I’ve hit a roadblock and it’s not a creative one. It’s not medical. It’s not financial. It’s not unexpected, nor is it planned, and it caught me off guard–though I should have seen it coming. The reason I haven’t been blogging is–for lack of a better adjective– maternal.

My children are getting older and now they can read this blog. They are old enough to actually stop and look over my shoulder at what I’m pecking out on my laptop–my frustrations, my fears, my medical updates–all of it. Before they didn’t care but now? Teenagers are curious. And that means that anything I put out here can get back to them–

and that’s no good. Because they need to be strong and not be afraid of the demons and dragons that their mother is out there slaying in the cancer kingdom. And if I write about my fears here, and am as honest as I have been about my worries–that will absolutely scare them. And I can’t do that to these kids, they are going through so much with this crap already. I can’t have it thrown in their face via this blog.

So I find myself at a crossroads: how do I do write here without upsetting my children?

That is why I haven’t been writing.

Thank you for having patience with me as I figure this out. Writing is my outlet, it’s my joy, it’s a passion and some days I think it keeps me sane in this utterly insane life I am leading fighting metastatic breast cancer. To give it up would slay me worse than the dragon I’m battling..

but to keep it up as I have been doing might hurt two people I love more than life itself. What to do?

To be continued..

Posted June 25th, 2012 by
Ann's Diary:  Writing Crossroads
Posted in: Ann's Diary

Ann’s Diary: Money and Good Munching

I try to buy organic foods when I can, which I did before I got cancer, too.

But choosing apples for 4.89 a pound versus apples for 1.29 a pound is a crazy hard choice to make when the grocery bill triples before my very eyes.

So I go for what the “experts” say are the fruits and vegetables most susceptible to chemical absorption. I’ve been following this kind of thing for years—and today I got this list that has what the majority of the “experts” say about pesticides and the best produce-eating bet for your non-chemical buck.

DIRTY DOZEN LIST FROM ENVIRONMENTAL WORKING GROUP

I’m not saying that if you eat food treated with pesticides that you get cancer. But for me, any way I can steer clear of what’s been treated with man-made toxins as I fight the natural one trying to take over my body already is the right thing for me to do.

(PS–read what the group says about cosmetics…yet another area of my life that I’ve changed.)

Posted June 19th, 2012 by
Ann's Diary: Money and Good Munching
Posted in: Ann's Diary, News

Ann’s Diary: Scandalous

You ever have those days where you think, “who even cares?”
I’ve been having what’s adding up to many months like that…

It’s not that I don’t think what I do is important. I just think that I could reach more people and get more attention–publicity I guess is what it’s called–and be more “successful” in the eyes of the country and the world–

if I slept with a married politician running for office in a contested state, and put the sex tape on YouTube.

I’ve tried everything else. I’ve written Oprah, Ellen, Sheryl Crowe, Christina Applegate, that E! Entertainment host who got almost the same kind of BC I did (I even sent her a book!) I was in email contact with someone closely connected with Deepak Chopra and Fran Drescher–another celebrity who had cancer (cervical)–and this guy told me “Fran loves your film trailer and wants to speak directly with you.” I got all excited, waited for the email, and waited….and waited…and…

waiting still. Ah, who’m I kidding? She ain’t gonna email.

So as the summer heats up and I get ready to not receive emails from celebrities and others in a position to boost my profile in the world–or the country–or the state–this county–hell, I’ll take the library–I’m gonna do what I should have all along:

I’m gonna get into a scandal.

Maybe I’ll streak naked down the steps of the White House in October clothed in nothing but a pink ribbon. For sensational, how about I call Howard Stern and offer to flash the world my mastectomy scars on national radio. Maybe Rush Limbaugh could have me on to swap stories of pain drugs we’ve had to take. I’ll tell Oprah to forget the Kardashians, I can be trashy: if she interviews me I won’t even wear a bra.

Then Oprah, Ellen, People Magazine, and all the rest of our times’ spotlight-shiners will want to speak to me–you know, after I do something outrageous. Maybe the world would listen too–once I hook them in with the smut–about this struggle with the crap of my life; and I could assure them it can be done–and they can do it too. We don’t need to be famous or infamous to have courage and strength to beat back the “terrible” in life; we just have to show up. And fight.

And in case you think I’m anti-Oprah, Ellen etc., I’m not–I know it isn’t the interviewers making up these stupid rules–it’s the folks who tune in. I haven’t done anything but survive for 8 plus years–what’s sexy about that?

But wait until America’s commander-in-chief shoos me off the property in nothing but my sunblock. That’s when the world will pay attention!

If not, they’ll just have to settle for me living yet another year fighting–8 years so far!—this battle with breast cancer. Scandalous? Negative. Sexy? No. Sensational?

Well… it is for me.

Posted June 13th, 2012 by
Ann's Diary: Scandalous
Posted in: Ann's Diary

News: Drug “bomb” for Herceptin-postive breast cancer

If your cancer is Herceptin positive, check out the latest on a ‘drug-bomb’ for breast cancer.

Posted June 3rd, 2012 by
News: Drug "bomb" for Herceptin-postive breast cancer
Posted in: News