A friend’s little girl asked her mom “Does Ann have a job?”
It appears the answer would be no, as the most I’ve done this week is laundry. But I know that question is very subjective, based on what the definition of “job” is that you’re using.
I do take a monthly stipend– barely visible on a W-2 form–for what I do here at Project Pink. And I have books I am writing that are available online and selling, subject to guerilla marketing that goes as far as my Facebook and Twitter accounts. But as far as “I’d like to grow up to be”? Nobody says “an unpaid writer.” So I supposed in that sense I do not have a job.
Which then makes it hard to find good writing inspiration on days when I am fighting the blues–as I have been for about a month now. I don’t want to write about the blues–I mean, I did that already a few times, and how many times can you do that without sounding like a whiner?
But a blog is a “daily web log” as the definition goes, and if you really read my daily inner mental web log you’d run screaming for the exit–cuz it hasn’t been pretty lately. There’s cancer, of course. And then there’s the rest—the bills, the weird economy, disciplining the children, my aging parent, rats in the garage, why don’t the kids pick up their rooms, blah blah blah–you probably have similar things on your list, hopefully minus the cancer. And I’ve been good about putting it all in perspective but recently it’s like I push back one thing and BANG something else grabs me and I’m back on the couch watching Will and Grace reruns and praying for tomorrow.
I hate to be a downer so I will stop right here and just assure you that I am getting through. I’m still fighting the blues but I am fighting–which is the only way you can ever get to the “winning.” As far as my friend goes, I told her to tell her daughter that yes, Ann has a job: she is a writer. But I didn’t suggest that her sweet little girl actually read this blog because allowing a 9 year-old to wallow in a 46 year-old’s wah-wah-wahs would definitely put me on the Naughty List this Christmas Season.
But I told my friend I will keep on doing my “job”–blogging, writing, fighting, beating cancer, living– because that’s what I do. Like Winston Churchill said, “when you’re going through Hell, keep going.” And since I’m going through Hell–or at least my own little version of it–that’s what I plan to do,