Posts from May, 2010

Ann’s Diary: No Salt On My Margaritas

Sitting awaiting my first chemotherapy treatment for breast cancer, I was scared as hell.  When the nurse came in I jumped, scanning her hands for whatever chemotherapy might look like.  It turns out she wasn’t holding the clear liquid bag that would eventually drain into my veins;  instead she had  a Priority Mail package from my BFF Kristin.  Inside was a cute little bag, some food and a card that made me laugh my ass off;  it was an old looking photo of a woman surrounded by her kids in bathing suits, each one about to hit the pool.  Inside it said, “Now remember kids, no running, no diving and no salt on my margaritas.” I held that card in front of me as the liquid made its way into my body.  It was the funniest card and the simplest thing but it did monumental things for my attitude as I began the fight of my life.

Posted May 12th, 2010 by
anns-diary-no-salt-on-my-margaritas
Posted in: Ann's Diary

Ann’s Diary: My Mother’s Day Gift

My kids keep asking me what I want for Mother’s Day.  I keep telling them I already got it.

Six years ago today I stood in a backyard on a sunny day hugging my son so tightly he might have lost his breath. I released him in enough time for him to run down the hill and chase a ball that his 5 year old self desperately wanted to play with–carefree and happy in the knowledge that I was still with him, having just been diagnosed with breast cancer.  What followed was a painful year of surgery, chemotherapy, and radiation but we did it–we all did it–my family and I made it to the next Mother’s Day, and the next, and the next and well…here we are.

This morning I hugged that same little boy, now on the threshold of the tween years, before he ran to grab a super-sized styrofoam airplane he desperately wanted to throw in the field.  My cancer is still something my kids, husband and I all think about,  but for the most part we are carefree and happy in the knowledge that while it did take me down breast cancer did not take me out.  I am still here.  I am still a mother to my children.  I still get to open my eyes and see the faces of these little people so desperate to please me on a day like today.  That’s why when they ask me what I want for this big holiday I tell them I already got it.

I got to be here today. That is what I wanted.  And it’s what I hope I’ll always get for Mother’s Day.

Posted May 9th, 2010 by
anns-diary-my-mothers-day-gift
Posted in: Ann's Diary

Ann’s Diary: Where Pink Ribbons Belong

When Lynn Redgrave died this week of breast cancer I used the F word.  I don’t usually do that, but like its rhyming counterpart the S word, the F word, which I usually hate and find disgustingly ill used, fits like a glove when coupled with cancer.

I was putting my daughter’s hair in pony tails this morning wondering how many wonderful people do we have to lose to this disease before we get so ticked off we buckle down and figure it out?  And I don’t just mean a cure to breast cancer, though I’ll dance in the streets and pass out fake cigars when that happens.  I mean a cause.  Why in the world are we getting this disease and what are we doing in this world to cause it?  Is it the food, the pollution, the atmosphere, the color of my dress, my shoes too tight, WHAT?  What is going on?

My daughter chose two little pink elastics to put in her hair so I wrapped them around her long blonde locks and began to think.  I love a pink ribbon as much as the next person, but what I’d really like to see out there plastered on every soup can and body lotion and tote bag is a big fat nothing.  As in we solved the problem, there is no more breast cancer.  We don’t need them, we’re not using them, take your ribbons back, we solved the breast cancer problem.

That way we all live the way we’d hoped for before cancer broke in and stole our long and happy lives.  Then people like Lynn Redgrave would still be here.

And we could save the pink ribbons to wrap around the bundled braids of  little girls everywhere, where they belong.

Posted May 6th, 2010 by
anns-diary-where-pink-ribbons-belong
Posted in: Ann's Diary